Stop looking for someone or something to complete you and start looking for someone or something to complement your completeness.
All too often we find ourselves in a situation where we are hoping and/or looking for something to complete us instead of realizing the truth of the matter. That truth is simply this, if you aren’t enough without said thing, you will not be enough with it. You see the never changing story of your life is that you are a complete being already; you were born with everything you need to become what you want to and don’t want to become.
So what do I mean by that, have you ever seen a newborn baby with depression issues? I don’t think so; in fact scientist can’t even detect depression signals in the brain from babies before they are 6 months old. What does that mean, well let’s think about it? That means in the first 3 months of your life at least, before the world takes hold and starts seeding things into you, you are completely content and happy with your existence. You don’t think of yourself as ugly, fat, stupid, short, foolish, ignorant, selfish, stubborn, or any of those other words out there that carry negative connotations. You feel complete. Babies play with toys out of a desire to explore and learn; they have an inquisitive nature that is natural to us all.
But as we get older we lose contact with that completeness, adults acquire things out of a need to feel whole more often than not. If you don’t get that new car you feel like you will literally die sometimes. We acquire our material possession out of a need to have them, that is, the power of our want is so strong that it makes that want feel like a need. “I needed that electronic toothbrush with triple action bristles and built in breath purifiers. How will I talk to people without it?” It is the same way in relationships for most of us.
This entire thing can be summed up with the phrase: if you aren’t enough without it you will never be enough with it. Figure out who you are, and accept that, everything that you need you already have you just need to acknowledge that you have it. You don’t need a that toothbrush any more then you need a mate that has a specific attribute that you believe is necessary for your survival at the expense of your overall long term happiness. The things you buy should complement your life and what you want it to stand for; the people you associate with and partner with should do the same. None of this should be done from a place of trying to feel or be complete, because you already are. You should be able to look in the mirror and say, “Hello beautiful/handsome, today I am going to share my glory with the rest of the world and brighten every day I come into contact with, because I am okay with my shortcomings and happy with being who I have chosen to be.”